Wow. I never expected this to happen. I found my old address book (in my closet packed away in a box). Just to check addresses for my Xmas card list this year. I called my cousin, Pat....to verify his addy. I grew up with Pat. Matter of fact, when my Mom died, I lived with his family for awhile. It was there that Pat's Father hit on me. I must have been in the early teen years. Foster care took me away and Pat's Mom, who I call Aunt Katie, stood by her husband. It hurt me so deeply. Anyway, I "cut bait" with their family. After my Dad died, I have pretty much been alone. Today I called Pat....who gave the phone to his Mom (Aunt Katie). I was aprehensive at first but ended up talking to her for a long time. She knows my entire past, which I have mentally blocked out. She also said she has a 4 bedroom house, that I could move to, if I wanted. OMG! Maybe this is why I've come to this part of Washington! It's a chapter in my life I need to look into. She began to tell me things about my adopted Mom, Helga. How much she loved me etc. I feel like crying years of tears. She knew my Dad so very well. I think I need to pursue this. Her husband, Kenny, died years ago. She believes me now when I say that he tried to rape me. We let bygones be bygones. If this is what it takes, maybe, I need to move down there and spend some time with them. Get to know "ME - The Forgotten Years". She certainly knows them. I've blocked out my entire childhood/family/everything. I feel I need this sooooo much! Pat said he'd come up and get me for the Christmas holiday. I guess he lives only 70 miles away. Wow. How life throws you punches. Sometimes you gotta roll with them. Maybe my next step is to move back to my hometown, get in touch with my roots/past. Then go from there. It's something I'm seriously considering. Aunt Katie thinks I need to meet my biological Father too. She'd be glad to help me with that. Gosh....it's alot to think about! There's not much left for me here, so I'm pretty sure what my answer is. Right now, I need to save some more moolah up, get my ducks in a row. Alright, comment back and lemme know what you think. Love Ya, Trixie

Nothing new to report, just stopping in the say Hello. I haven't post much lately. That don't mean I'm not thinking about ya. I've got friday & saturdays off...and lately, all I seem to do is chill in front of my new tv. It's been snowing, so I tend to stay in where it's nice and warm. I hope everyone is staying sane during the mad Christmas shopping daze. I'm not getting too carried away. I bought a little tree, some Xmas lights, a little stocking and some cards to send. That's about it. Now where did I put my address book? Y'all take 'r easy! Ho Ho Ho ~ Trixie

I went in for my ultrasound this morning. The radiologist said that all is good. Just cysts, nothing cancerous. OMG, talk about relief! I've been so worried about things since my abnormal results back in October. I didn't sleep very good last night, maybe 3-4 hours tops. I came back from my appt. and dropped into bed and slept the whole day away. I'm so happy. I told God that I'll take better care of myself. It was an emotional morning for me. I had to go to the hospital that my Dad went to before he passed. I thought about going into the chapel but decided to just come on home. Years ago, while my Dad was in the hospital, some of our church members decided to have our sunday service in the hospital chapel, so my Dad could attend. He was wheeled up to the front of the chapel to speak to us. I sat in the back, by myself. I couldn't even really hear my Dad. All I remember was I was trying hard not to cry. I prayed to God to please give me strength, to give me a sign. Right then, the swinging door to the chapel opened and a yellow lab dog walked in and went right up to me. He sat down and wanted to be pet. Talk about weird! What's a dog doing in a hospital chapel? Of all the places to be, he walked right up to me! I was so stunned, I never did cry. I just thanked God for sending the dog to me in my time of need. He was a comfort. The dog eventually turned around and left and the service was over. I never forgot that day. A time later, probly after my Dad died, I was telling this story and someone said...."Oh, you met "-----" (name of the dog)~ apparently, the dog belongs to the Sisters and sometimes he comes to the hospital and goes on their rounds. That may be so, but I know that he was sent to me by God that day. Alright, I'm going to surf around and see what everyone else is up to this weekend. I don't have any plans, just relax. I'll post more later. Thank you for all your prayers and support! Me & the Boys are doing fine. I call my boobs "the boys". Have a safe and wonderful weekend! Love Ya Trixie

I think I've calmed down a little. It's just so frustrating to lose stuff on Blogstream, I know it happens to others, as well. All in all, I've had a good time here. I'm self taught on the computer, so I don't know how to do alot of stuff online. I guess I won't blog that much in length, that way if and when I lose stuff, it won't hurt so much. I guess posting about Kevin will wait. As far as other stuff....I had my initial check up yesterday (pap, pelvic and clinical breast exam). Friday morning I go in for my ultrasound (on my boobies). Ultrasounds can detect cancer. Don't even wanna think about that. Gotta stay positive. We had massive snow last weekend, then extreme rain afterwards. Pineapple Express. It's been warm the past couple nights, almost 50 degrees. That will last till tonight and then it's back to cold, cold, cold. Snow likely on sunday. Alrighty then...I'm up too early. I was hella busy last night at the bar. The past 2 nights have been awesome. It makes up for such a slow week last week. I think I'll post about a certain someone I went out with the other night, next time. Stay Tuned. Y'all take 'r easy! Stay warm. Trixie

I just spent the last hour posting my heartfelt thoughts on the passing of Kevin DuBrow. My affiliation with him throughout the years etc. I'll be damned, blogstream erased it all. Fuck that. It's happened a few times before but dammit! This time really hurt me! I know there's glitches that need to be worked out, but fuck....I'm not going to be able to post these thoughts again. sorry. Back to myspace.